With the fall school season underway, this seems like a good time to learn or practice a writing and self-editing skill. You may have heard the phrase, Show, don’t tell. It’s a helpful technique for strengthening your writing and engaging your reader. Let’s take a look.
What Does Show, Don’t Tell Mean?
Think about writing that has made you feel immersed in the story, like you were interacting with the story through all your senses. That writer probably used the technique of showing instead of telling.
Show, don’t tell means writing in a way that lets the reader experience the scene, rather than just telling the reader what happened.
For example, I could tell you that a person was nervous upon entering an office. Or I could show you that the person was sweating and his hands were shaking upon entering that same office. Which version puts you, the reader, right in the moment and helps you relate to what the person is going through? That’s right—the example of showing is the one that immerses the reader in the scene.
When I tell you the person is nervous, it may give you helpful information about what’s going on in the scene. But it doesn’t help you experience the scene. You don’t feel engaged and invested. You don’t relate on a deeper level. But when I show you what the person is experiencing, you feel engaged, maybe even can feel yourself sweating a bit to see what will happen. That’s the power of showing.
So, when an editor or writing coach says to you, “Show, don’t tell,” they are suggesting you write a scene in a way that lets the reader live it.
Why Show instead of Tell?
As a writer, your focus is on the reader. Think about what you want for your reader:
- To offer them the best, most meaningful reading experience.
- To bring them into each scene and keep them engaged.
- To give them the opportunity to experience each moment of your writing with their own senses.
- To enjoy a memorable experience that they keep thinking about long after they finish reading.
Showing—not telling—accomplishes all of this for your reader, and this is true for both fiction and nonfiction writing.
This doesn’t mean you need to show in every paragraph. Too much showing can slow the reader down. Some information can be narrated simply, to help the reader move on. Pick your spots where you want the reader to feel what’s going on. That’s where you’ll focus on showing.
How to Show without Telling
If an editor suggests that you “show, don’t tell,” how do you do that?
Focus on the reader. Picture them in the scene, experiencing whatever is going on. What can you do to help them become immersed in that moment?
Show, don’t tell doesn’t mean flowery language or overly descriptive writing. It means writing that brings the scene to life through the reader’s sense, as if it were happening all around them.
Let’s look at an example:
The woman took a sip of tea, and it was bitter.
That’s telling. How can you show it?
Did you ever drink bitter tea—or anything bitter? What did you do? Possibly scrunched up your face. Or shivered. Or jerked your face back. And you probably set the cup down quickly, maybe even pushed it away.
By putting yourself in the moment, as you want your reader to be, you can show what you’re feeling.
Here’s how we could change the sentence to a more showing example:
The woman took a sip of tea, scrunched her face, and slid the cup away.
You didn’t have to tell the reader the tea was bitter. You showed them, and they might even be scrunching their own face or remembering a time they drank something bitter. They might even sense the aftertaste. Now, they are fully immersed in the scene; they are connected and engaged with the woman you’re writing about.
Let’s try another example:
He tried to stifle a laugh.
Have you ever tried to do that? What did it feel like? Or sound like. You might have covered your mouth. Or shook the laugh out through your shoulders. Maybe it sounded like a hiccup. Possibly you snorted. Those are your keys to showing instead of telling.
Let’s look at that sentence again, with showing this time:
He pressed his fist to his mouth as his shoulders shook. His eyes seemed to dance as he looked away.
The first sentence, by itself, could indicate several emotions. But combined with the dancing eyes, and given the context of the story, the two sentences together show stifled laughter.
Notice the first simple sentence said he tried to stifle the laughter, which indicates he might not have been successful. That nuance will come out in your showing. In our second example, the shaking shoulders are a laughing giveaway, indicating he tried but wasn’t entirely successful.
Easing into Show, Don’t Tell
Show, don’t tell doesn’t always happen with a rough draft. It happens more often through self-editing. As you get used to this technique, you might find yourself doing more showing as you write.
But don’t let it bog down your writing process. Show, don’t tell is something you can work on in the self-editing stage. Let it be the focus of one of your self-editing read-throughs.
To practice show, don’t tell, think of a simple sentence that tells, and then immerse yourself into the scene. Find ways of showing instead of telling.
Next time you’re reading a book or a blog, notice when the writer is showing. Recognizing what showing looks like will help you be ready to write with that technique.
As you start weaving more showing into your writing, get friends to read your showing examples and let you know what they experienced. Their feedback will help you know if your showing brought them into the scene.
As with any new writing technique, don’t let this one frustrate you or make you feel like you have to redo everything you’ve written. Simply add this technique to your toolbelt to ease into, a step at a time, going forward.
As writers, we grow each time we put pen to paper—and we grow again each time we read. Show, don’t tell is a growth step that even seasoned writers have to work at. That’s one reason writers have editors.
Take it one step at a time and enjoy trying out the show, don’t tell technique the next time you write or self-edit. Just try it once and see how it goes. Then slowly weave it into your writing and editing style.
Janet Eriksson 